Obituary from

This post was published more than a few years ago (on 2002-12-15) and may contain inaccurate technical information, outmoded thoughts, or cringe takes. Proceed at your own risk.

September 21, 2062 — SUKKERTOPPEN, Greenland

Director and cinematographer Mark "Bob" Boszko was killed today in a boating accident off the west coast of Greenland. Authorities say that he and members of his boating crew, who were shooting a documentary, had been capsized into the water by the wake of a Pan Am jetwaver, which ironically was ferrying the crew filming The River Wild: Judication Day. No defendants have been named in the incident.

Boszko succumbed to hypothermia before rescuers could reach the boat. Paramedics on the scene say this was mainly due to his previous unwillingness to undergo tissue replacement therapy as he aged. He was 87.

Boszko’s rise to fame is well documented. In 1999, he started his on-again, off-again collaboration with his writer/producer partner Ron "AAlgar" Watt, forming the powerhouse Lookit/Intense Films. Soon after, he joined the staff of the web magazine, an inauspicious upstart that shortly rocketed the players involved to stardom in the web news scene, eventually surpassing their fiercest competitor,

Almost a decade later, encouraged by the critical success of his Station in the Metro Productions’ experimental short, Three Blind Mice (widely panned by animal rights supporters as a supreme act of cruelty), Boszko left his not-so-humble roots to become part of the New Hollywood elite. Being Chairman of the Baltimore based Independent Directors Guild at the time, his colleagues accused him of "cashing in." He never denied this accusation on the record, but often countered with the statement that he intended to "change the system from the inside." Unfortunately, he never did.

After a few bright years in the limelight, creating such well-remembered treasures as The Peanut Butter Incident and the crime thriller Mechanics on Ice, he lost New Hollywood’s favor with the controversial Mookie, and in a drastic sanction by the NHEU, was exiled to the eastern seaboard.

Boszko then finally found his niche. Settling into a New Hampshire house once owned by his great grandparents, he became an oft-contracted cinematographer for the media conglomerate GBH, where he lensed a plethora of documentaries. Even though it has already been banned by the Catholic Church, the posthumous release, tomorrow, of his final completed project, Wildlife of Las Vegas, looks to finally garner him the public acceptance he sought in his early life, yet eschewed near his untimely end.

Boszko is survived by his wife and two children, and his house-bot, Argo.