This post was published more than a few years ago (on 2003-08-19) and may contain inaccurate technical information, outmoded thoughts, or cringe takes. Proceed at your own risk.




Dera Partner,

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally.

I certainly am. Who the hell are you?

I am Sodingo Malinga,the first son of Malinga Tawanda,the most

popular black farmerin Zimbabwe who was murdered in the land dispute in my country.

The most popular black farmer in Zimbabwe? Goodness. You must be very proud.

I got your contact through network online hence decided to write


Ah, would that be from the List O' Suckers that Once Might Have Clicked on a Link in a Piece of Spam™?

Before the death of my father, he had taken me to Johannesburg to deposit the sum of US12 million (Twelve million, United States dollars), in

one of the private security company, as he foresaw the looming danger in


Isn't that in South Africa? Is that anywhere near Zimbabwe? Does you dad own a private jet or something?

this money was deposited in a box as gem stones to avoid much

demurrage from security company. This amount was meant for the purchase of

new machines and chemicals for the Farms and establishment of

new farms in Swaziland. This land problem came when Zimbabwean President Mr.

Now we're going to Swaziland? Do you have any sense of African geography at all?

Robert Mugabe introduced a new Land Act Reform wholly affecting the rich

white farmers and some few black farmers, and this resulted to the killing

and mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some lunatics in the society.

In fact a lot of people were killed because of this Land reform Act for

which my father was one of the victims.

I am incredibly sorry to hear that. Again.

It is against this background that, I and my family fled Zimbabwe for fear

of our lives and are

currently staying in the Netherlands where we are seeking political asylum

and moreso have decided to transfer my fathers money to a more reliable

foreign account. since the law of Netherlands prohibits a refugee (asylum

seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial

transaction throughout the territorial zone of Netherlands, As the eldest

son of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine

foreign account where this money could be transferred without the knowledge

of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got.

Now — didn't you say earlier that he had deposited this amount as jewels? I'm no expert on the international monetary system, but I was under the impression you couldn't just electronically transfer jewels. But, I suppose I could be mistaken.

The South

African government seems to be playing along with them.

outh African government seems to be playing along with them.

You're repeating yourself.

I am faced with the dilemma of moving this amount of money out of South Africa for

fear of going through the same experience in future, both countries have

similar political history. As a businessman,I am seeking for a partner who

I have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands, I must let

you know that this transaction is risk free.

Well, I'm certainly glad to know there was no risk. I was beginning to mistrust you. Thanks for putting my mind at ease.

If you accept to assist me and

my family, all I want you to do for me, is to make an arrangements with the

security company to clear the consignment(funds) from their afiliate office

here in the Netherlands as i have already given directives for the

consignment to be brought to the Netherlands from South Africa.

Huh? I thought you said you needed my help to get the money out of South Africa. I'm confused.

But before

then all modalities will have to be put in place like change of ownership to

the consignment and more importantly this money I intend to use for

investmentment. investmentment.

Repeating yourself again.

I have two options for you. Firstly you can choose to have certain

percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Or

you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of

the money in your country. Whichever the option you want, feel free to

notify me.

Ummm... let me think about it.

I have also mapped out 5% of this money for all kinds of expenses

incurred in the process of this transaction. If you do not prefer a

partnership I am willing to give you 15% of the money while the remaining

80% will be for my investment in your country.

So, 15%... that's about $1.8 million. You're just going to give almost two million dollars to some random guy you found on the internet just for helping you transfer this money into another account? Don't they have bankers for this sort of thing?

Contact me with the above

telephone number or my E-mail address I implore you to maintain the

absolute secrecy required in this transaction.

Oh wait... absolute secrecy? Whups. Guess I let the cat out of the bag.

Thank you, and may GOD BLESS YOU

Ah, well that cinches it. You can just bugger off then.

Yours Faithfully,

Sodingo Malinga..