Sky Captain and the Playing Cards of Tomorrow

Sky Captain and the Playing Cards of Tomorrow
Sky Captain and the Playing Cards of Tomorrow

Sky Captain playing cards

Is this, or is this not, the lamest promotional item evar? When I picked up the DVD at Costco for Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (for educational purposes, mind you), it said, “Free Sky Captain Playing Cards Inside!” When I opened the long box, I saw the card in the image on top of the sealed pack. Figured, “Huh, that’s neat — I bet the cards inside have a different, cool image on them!”

Nope, all of the cards in the deck have the same cheesy “Now on DVD!” message on them. I already bought the damn DVD — why are you advertising to me?! Are you expecting that I’ll immediately go out and play whist with someone, and they’ll find, to their amazement, that Wow, Sky Captain is out on DVD already? Wasn’t your last movie review on that? Wasn’t that over five months ago? Man, you suck! Thanks, Paramount — like I needed people remembering that I can’t keep up with my movie reviews for shit.

Sky Captain JokerSky Captain Ace

Let’s see… are the faces of the cards themselves cool and different in any way? Nope again, unless you count the appearance of “The World Joker” somehow having something to do with “The World of Tomorrow.” And what’s with the naked wrestling guys on the ace of spades? I mean, the movie itself wasn’t so great — gouge-your-eyes-out gorgeous, sure — but the plot? Thin. The characters? Cardboard. Including this lame promotional item on top of that? That’s just bad form, ol’ chap.