The Labyrinth of Comcastica

This post was published more than a few years ago (on 2014-08-13) and may contain inaccurate technical information, outmoded thoughts, or cringe takes. Proceed at your own risk.

I am on hold with a well known cable internet provider, and they're playing a tape with promos on a loop, and that tape is constantly being interrupted by another tape telling me how important my call is, back and forth and back and forth, until all of that is interrupted by a person who sounds exactly like the person on the tape, only it seems like it might be a real person, but I'm really not sure, because my brain's attention centers have been completely burned out by interruption after interruption, all in the same pleasant yet unremarkable female voice.

After a much longer pause than usual between messages and another “Hello?” from the phone, I finally realize that it is a real live person. A sigh of relief.

I tell her this story. She is polite enough to seem amused, and she's very helpful, and actually listening to the issue that I actually called about in the first place, and then her whole department's computers crash as one, rising up against their masters, and so I get the choice of going back into a different queue of customer service representatives who won't be able to help me, because I just came from nearly two hours of back and forth and transfers and being hung up on and apologized to and sorry-we-can't-help-youd there, and they're the ones who sent me here, or… I can call back in half an hour.

I stare into the abyss and hang up, defeated, knowing that it will be much, much longer than thirty minutes before I can regain the strength of will to enter the labyrinth again.


I just called again, got through immediately, got a helpful person who quoted me a price $5 cheaper than my previously quoted price, and literally said, “Hold on a moment while I upgrade your service… you have your own modem, correct?” — and then I GOT DISCONNECTED.

So, I called back immediately, and now… on hold forever. Again.

[exasperated sigh]

I'm beginning to think that Comcast has been taking customer service tips from Brazil.

Update update:

Eventually (after 45+ minutes), I had to hang up, because I had to go to aikido.

After, I called back again. Was put on hold and then a few minutes later, disconnected.

Called back again. Was put on hold — this time, no music, just a hissing static sound. Someone picked up, started to help me, but before she even opened the details of my account, I was disconnected.

Called back again. I got a rep on the phone right away, and for the early part of the call, when she needed to ask her boss something, she simply muted me, and did NOT put me on hold, which was a nice change after the previous three calls. She found the deal I was originally offered, got me a discount on my service call, and got me all set up. Yay! I had a question about what would happen during the service call, and so at the end, after ensuring I was completely set up otherwise, transferred me to the tech support team, where I was back to the two tapes interrupting each other, fighting to assure me that my call was important. After half an hour of that, I hung up. Hopefully I get a knowledgeable tech at the house next week, and my question wouldn't have been a big deal.

Le sigh.

So… At least I finally got someone who was very helpful and willing to search for the deal that I had been quoted. Sounds like she has a great, helpful boss too. Comcast, I'm glad you have people like these, but they are literally 15% of the total number of people that I talked to , who bounced me from department to department, disconnected me repeatedly, and took me nearly four hours on the phone (wait time included) to get to this resolution. Your system is broken.