egg nog

According to the taste test I did a couple of years back for an egg nog-focused podcast (that was, ultimately, never quite completed), we did several home-made nog recipes based on various combinations of dairy and liquor.

The one that won our never-before-revealed taste test was this recipe from the folks at the marketing department of the then-new Navan liqueur:

Natural Vanilla Egg Nog

Yield: 1 – 32oz. pitcher (approx. 6 servings)

• 9 oz. NAVAN natural vanilla liqueur
• 6 Grade A or AA eggs
• 9 oz. Whole Milk
• 6 teaspoons superfine sugar
• Garnish: Ground nutmeg and Easy Leaf Products edible gold leaf
• Optional garnish: Cinnamon-Nutmeg whipped cream topped with gold leaf*

Separate the egg yolk and white into 2 bowls. Beat the white with 1/2 tsp. sugar until peaks form. Beat yolk with remaining 1/2 tsp. sugar until stiff. Gently fold egg white into egg yolk. Add milk and mix gently. Add NAVAN and mix gently. Pour mixture into an ice-filled cocktail glass. Add the garnish.

*Optional Garnish: Cinnamon-Nutmeg whipped cream topped with gold leaf. Directions: Beat 2 oz. whipping cream, with pinch ground nutmeg and pinch ground cinnamon until stiff. Add to top of drink and sprinkle with gold leaf.

Definitely try it with the Cinnamon-Nutmeg topping. I’ll be the first to admit the sprinkle of gold leaf was the most ostentatious thing you might imagine (it doesn’t affect the taste, so feel free to leave it out; it just looks pretty, and the folks at Navan gave us a small shaker of it gratis, so we at least had to try it), but everything else about the drink was damn good — refreshing, not too heavy, and with a well-balanced taste. Not the “half a bottle of Maker’s Mark with a little cream tossed in” flavor of most of the other entries.

The only one that came close, at least in my eyes, is this aged recipe that starts out with a wicked bite, but becomes mellowed and balanced after you let it age for a year or two.

Yes, you read that right. A year. It’s okay. You won’t die. Here’s why.

Game plan: It’s good to give the eggnog a full 3 weeks of aging or up to 1 year, but you can drink it right away; however, the flavor will be less rounded.

INGREDIENTS

For the eggnog:

• 12 large eggs
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1 quart (4 cups) whole milk
• 1 liter (about 4 cups) bourbon, such as Maker’s Mark
• 1/2 cup Myers’s dark rum
• 1/2 to 1 cup good Cognac or other brandy
• Pinch kosher salt
• 1 whole nutmeg

To serve (optional):

• 10 egg whites
• 1 1/2 cups heavy cream

INSTRUCTIONS

For the eggnog:

1. Separate egg yolks and whites. (Reserve the whites for another use, such as serving this eggnog, or for our Egg-White Frittata with Shrimp, Tomato, and Spinach.) Combine yolks and sugar in a large mixing bowl and whisk until well blended and creamy.

2. Add cream, milk, bourbon, rum, Cognac (use the good stuff), and salt, then stir.

3. Bottle it right away and refrigerate it until it’s ready. (An old liquor bottle works great, as do 22-ounce bail-top bottles, available in brewing supply stores. My grandfather keeps the eggnog in the garage for 3 weeks, stirring occasionally, then bottles it—but aging in the garage is not recommended because the temperature can fluctuate.)

4. It’s traditional to wrap the bottle in aluminum foil, shiny side out, together with a fresh nut of nutmeg tucked into the foil for grating later. Keep refrigerated for at least 3 weeks, or up to a year if you can.

To serve (optional):

I serve aged eggnog on the rocks with some freshly grated nutmeg on top. If you want to serve the eggnog in the traditional way, pour it into a punch bowl. In separate bowls, whip 10 egg whites and 1 1/2 cups heavy cream to soft peaks and fold them into the eggnog. Serve in punch cups, garnished with freshly grated nutmeg.

I have a bottle of this that’s been aging in my fridge for two years now. Good stuff!

So, here I am, another year older, another year wiser. Still, I have the crazy urge to review more varieties of nog. (…or perhaps, is it the fact that I simply can’t find any of the brands I liked last year?) Anyway— some good. Some bad. Some soy. As they used to say during Sunday football games: You make the call.

Contestant No. 1: Diary Maid Dairy Egg Nog Grade A Pasteurized

A local brand, made not twenty miles up the road in Frederick, MD, Dairy Maid has a really good creamy base, just about the right amount of sweetness, and the requisite tang of nutmeg. Honestly, having had most of the half gallon on my own, I think this is going to be the one to beat this year. That said, Santa didn’t seem to appreciate it too much, but that could be because it sat out for a couple of hours before he got to it. I mean, a lot can be blamed on improper refrigeration, I suppose. Just ask Walt Disney.

Ingredients:

• Milk, cream, corn sweetener, egg yolk, whey solids, stabilizers, natural and artificial flavors, artificial color (FD&C yellow #5).

Contestant No. 2:

[At this point, I had passed out from fat and sugar overdose. To be continued…]

Well, okey, maybe this isn’t technically a “rant,” but it’s not a book, movie or music review either. Maybe I need to need to create a catch-all category just called “reviews.” One more thing to add to the redesign menu. But anyway, without further adoo (adieu?)…

Certainly, I’m a little late, but as of the start of this review, I still have a full thirty minutes in which to review these various egg nogs for your New Year’s Eve drinking pleasure. And yes, I know I said I was going to go to bed early tonight, but I started watching Back to the Future, and ended up watching the entire trilogy. Sosumi.

Food Lion Pasteurized Homogenized Old Fashioned Egg Nog

What first struck me about this particular brand was the juxtaposition of “Pasteurized Homogenized” and “Old Fashioned” in the name, especially the way that “Old Fashioned” seems kind of crammed onto the label as an afterthought. I also like how it says “Satisfaction Guaranteed” on the back, as if in anticipation of some guy coming into the store with a half-drunk carton of egg nog and demanding his money back. As far as the nog itself goes, it tastes much like sweetened half-n-half with a 1/4 teaspoon of vanilla extract must taste. Blech.

Original Brand Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Nog: Made with Real Dairy Cream, Rum Brandy and Blended Whiskey”

I received this particular “Old Style Egg Nog” as a gift from a co-worker. At 14.75% alcohol by volume, this nog is the only one that actually contains any alcohol, including the ill-named Southern Comfort nog reviewed below. The nog is very much like what the label says, and… well… tastes like cream, rum, brandy and whiskey. Or at least it would if I had any clue as to what the distinct and various flavors of those alcohol things were. All things considered, I have the distinct impression that if I continued to drink it for any length of time, I would get stinking-ass drunk. ‘Nuff said.

Land O Lakes Gourmet Eggnog: Holiday Collection

On the box, the word is written “Eggnog” all as one word, but there’s a very small extra space between the “Egg” and the “nog,” almost as if the packaging designers were hedging their bets about the public’s acceptance of them making a compound word out of the more “old fashioned” separate words. This one is really, really, reeeeeally creamy, and reeks of nutmeg. I’m not sure if I love it or hate it. Possibly an okey drink, though my judgement may be more reliable if I weren’t getting steeeenkiing drunk on this Pennsylvania Dutch stuff. Yep. Dronk.

Borden’s Canned whatever it’s called egg nog

Okay, so I don’t have a can of this actually on hand, but I had one a few weeks ago, and my mom regularly served me nothing but (aside from one year’s disasterous attempt at home-made) for 16+ years. It’s thin, it’s weak, it tastes watered-down, and lacking an any sort of flavor that I expect from my nog. Definitely the nog to keep in the bomb shelter, though. Although, I would think the PennDutch liquored up one should preserve pretty well, too.

Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice flavored Egg Nog Non-Alcoholic

Another example of trying to cram too much information onto the face of the carton, this nog tries to be all things to all people, and… well, honestly, it’s not bad. It definitely lacks the kick of the P-Dutchy nog, but on the other hand, it also lacks the bite. Egg nog is supposed to be smooth— who wants it to bite? I mean, unless you’re aiming to get stonkin’ dronk. It is, indeed, very vanilla-y, which may be its only weak point. It’s got a good slightly egg-y flavor, and just enough nutmeg to give it flavor, but not enough to choke the proverbial egg-nog-drinking horse.

The Winner

Southern Comfort is my final choice of a beverage that I have suddenly gotten very sick of drinking. But really, any of these lovely nogs will provide you with 26% of your RDA of saturated fat in only one 4 oz. serving, and isn’t that what holiday fare is all about?

Mmmm… dronk.